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I have felt this so many times. The isolation that comes with awakening no matter what field it's in. I mean fuck, I'm a professional emasculator simply because I'm more aware of how to do things that many females don't; how to change my oil, replace a garbage disposal, tile and grout a shower. I think that no matter your area of skill, if people want out or are generally intimated, they will simply find a reason to back away but that reason is really their own insecurities. And yes, it absolutely isolates you which can be very lonely but, you can't play small. Even if you believe in multiple lives (which I do) you're only in this body with this identity for this go 'round so why be anything other than what makes you amazing. I listen to the message that our teacher left me with all the time. He talks about me holding back because of the fear that my loved will not recognize me but, evolving is what I do and who I am so I had to fully step into that consequences be damned. While I still have moments of loneliness, I try to reframe them as moments to just be alone with myself or to give those I love time to adjust. And anway, I adore your intelligence and think your skill set is awesome and noteworthy. So there's that at least 😊


Wonderful, articulate post! You've got me thinking thinky thoughts and asking questions about things like authenticity and fear. Like, did you shy away from learning sexology because it did not feel like something that would be true to you, or were you just afraid? (It sounds like you decided it was the latter. I suspect this is often what holds me back from learning new things as well.) And if you can't be your full, authentic self with a person you're in a relationship with, then what is holding you to them - fear of being alone? Or is it a potentially rich, authentic relationship damped by fear? - See more at: http://ardenleigh.typepad.com/blog/2015/11/is-your-evolved-consciousness.html#sthash.reey79XB.CJJU0fNa.dpuf


I feel the same Frostian angst at the moment.

I want to be the me that i am to me, but it's just not realistic to expect that i can be. Some people have masks that they just can't take off because others cannot understand or perhaps can.

If you are such a person, a person who cannot unmask completely, it's such a grander shame that one of your drives or destinations is to share that nakedness with someone. To tease yourself, by getting so close but knowing with every unbuckling of every clasp you are being brought closer and closer to an inevitable parting.

Knowing one's limits is important, so is knowing those of others. It's arrogance to expect people's best all the time. It's perhaps, that same arrogance to expect their understanding, if you truly are good at expressing yourself.

I am writing this comment for myself of course, about myself. I don't know you at all and had accidently stumbled on this site. I am about to listen to a podcast you are on, i don't know anything about you other than the paragraphs i have just read....i clicked the wrong link and ended up here...

I guess i just want you to know that a) wow really enjoyed reading your blog post and will poke around some more and
b) restraint can be freeing

Sam Tresler

Thank you for sharing your thought-work around topics I, and others. are struggling with.

Thank you for your authenticity and boldness sharing your experience.

I follow your blog, and just want to let you know that you are not alone.

"No more esoteric languages. You already feel alone enough in this world.", "we just keep losing everyone?", "I would like some fucking compassion for once.",

'"When it got quiet, I asked him if I could ask a personal question and he agreed. "Do you ever get lonely?" I asked. He looked at me for a long moment. "You know, no one's ever asked me that before."'

-- and his response?

I could be wrong, but I think gratitude is one of the best displays of compassio
n. Keep on, keeping on, and know that you are not alone. Cheers.

Naïve Gnostic

To mount the pinnacle of a profession is to stand alone. Indeed, it is lonely at the top. But to be the top in the matter of relationships is truly a double whammy. I say be authentic. After all, that’s the path every good artist takes. Authenticity is also a necessary ingredient to achieve true intimacy and isn’t intimacy what we all crave?

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