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There's an old saying that kept running through my head as I was reading this: "The darkest hour is always before the dawn." It's a phrase which I believe is a nice way of summarising a historical truth - humanity's biggest leaps forward are usually preceded by a dark moment through which people pull together and emerge to make a better world. I believe this happens on an individual basis too, and all of us can remember bad episodes of our lives which we would never wish to happen to anybody and yet have forced us into a better direction.

In the fight against misogyny, 2014 has been more than dark - it's been pitch black. The summer of 2014 felt like a misogynistic black hole from which no equality, reasoning or love was able to escape once caught in it's wake. Black holes literally f**king SUCK more than anything.

But I also won't forget that 2014 introduced me to the website everydaysexism.com, which published it's first book earlier this year. It created #YesAllWomen, saw more gender pay gaps exposed than ever before and saw the first countries in history to criminalize revenge porn. And finally, on the 22nd of July 2014 the UK created a £1,400,000 ($2,284,380) to end female genital mutilation and treat survivors.

All beliefs, even those based on facts, require an element of faith. I believe that in the future, misogyny will cease to exist. If history is anything to go by, it will happen sooner than you think.

Oh and by the way Arden, I bought your book last year and I love what you do. Please don't ever stop.


Not sure what's with the "UCSB shooting" (don't live in the US and don't care about the news), or with your comments on facebook/tweeter since I don't really care about/follow "social media" either.

Just wanted to tell you that I've been enjoying your posts for some time and you seem to be genuinely kind, warm-hearted and very smart.
Best of luck!


Is there anything concrete or proactive that men can do to live this? A lot of the guys I know have a hard time showing empathy. We're not great at picking up on nonverbal signals, let alone sending them.

Like... rape exists, for example, and it is not okay. I think all men know this on some level. Our culture is cruel and lopsided in the way it views and treats women. Some terrible shit went down in the past, and is likely to continue going down until we can find a way to fix our goddamned culture.

And however scary it might be for us alleged beneficiaries of the system to acknowledge that reality, it's got to be a million times scarier for you living through it in your day-to-day life.

So... let's assume I can hear a story about how your ex-boyfriend choked you without instinctively identifying with the male character in the story and leaping to his defense. Let's assume that I am worldly enough to realize that Job One of the feminist movement is not to take all my porn away. How can I demonstrate to you that I was listening?

Once I know it, how do I show it?

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