Submission is a way of holding our partners accountable for expressing their needs, an implicit agreement that any unspoken desires are not on us to discern. When we give our consent for our partner to direct, order, or use us as they see fit, it becomes their responsibility to ask for (or command) what they want.
It's no wonder then that the desire for surrender seems to go so closely in hand with the fear of abandonment. We just want to know that if something's a problem, you'll tell us long before it becomes something that threatens the relationship.
This is why submission is so often seen as a space of emotional safety, why the illusions of pain and violence in kink do not belie its deeper intimacy and pleasures. As submissives we are permission-givers, and the gift of agency we give to our Dominant partners is our way of asking them to help us meet their needs so that we can feel secure.
Edited to add: I used to think submission was the most generous gift you could give someone -- total agency over your body, will, and actions, what more could a person ask for. But now I realize what a challenge that gift can be, when submission is reframed as a request for a partner to verbalize the very needs that society tells them are most shameful. As submissives we're actually asking great bravery on the part of our Doms when we ask them to put words to both the most secret and the most mundane things they want.
This has led me to try to be proactive in anticipating needs, curating pleasurable experiences, or getting better at doing things without being told. Still, it's a tricky space to navigate, and often I can't tell if I'm the world's most generous lover or the world's most selfish.